🎬 Why "the last cigarette" never ends up being the last
I've never counted exactly how many times I've failed at quitting.
I think I didn't want to.
But cigarettes I smoked while saying "this is the last one" — those I remember plenty of. The one on the balcony at night. The one in front of the convenience store on the way home from work. There were nights I deliberately smoked the last one in the pack slowly.
I've had a lot of "last cigarettes."
It's a strange thing. But each time, I was pretty serious. I wasn't joking. I meant to tidy away the ashtray when I was done, I meant to stop buying them tomorrow, and I believed tomorrow's me would be a little different from today's.